by Scott Stimler
“Happy birthday, son!”
“Thank you, mother! I do love these splendid decorations. Today is a momentous occasion, and I’ve always wanted to try lemon meringue cake.”
“Why, son, your father and I have got a marvelous gift for you. One that we should’ve given you long ago.”
“Well, what is it, mother?”
“It’s some news.”
“Some news? Well, what is it?”
“You, my son, are – ”
“ – Adopted?”
“No – ”
“ – Being financially and socially cut off from here on now?”
“No, no. You are – ”
“ – Really Uncle Burt’s love child from a fling you two had in Cancun?”
“No, that’s preposterous! Don’t be silly.”
“Well then, what is it?”
“You, my son, are a savant!”
“A savant?”
“Yes, a savant! You have a magnificent gift that comes naturally to you, unbeknownst to you, of course.”
“Really, mother?”
“Yes, really!”
“Oh, wow! So, I’m an incredibly skilled footballer?”
“No…”
You’re a Savant, Son.
“Wait, no, I’m super quick at cleaning the floors?”
“No…”
“Oooh, oooh, I know! I am an exceptional singer!”
“Far from it, son – You are the biggest and bestest idiot your father and I have ever seen! And no one could ever take that away from you…”
About Scott Stimler
Scott Stimler a 21-year-old British undergraduate student studying psychology in New York and an avid writer in the making. The playful banter that exists between my parents and myself on a daily basis inspired this piece of writing. You can follow Scott on Goodreads at “Scott S.”
Hilarious!